Champagne, Misfits, and Other Shady Magic Read online

  Champagne, Misfits, and Other Shady Magic

  Dowser 7

  Meghan Ciana Doidge

  Old Man in the CrossWalk Productions

  Contents

  Author’s Note

  Introduction

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Dowser Series Cookbook

  The Adept Universe by MCD

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Also by Meghan Ciana Doidge

  Author’s Note:

  * * *

  Champagne, Misfits, and Other Shady Magic is the seventh book in the Dowser series, which is set in the same universe as the Oracle and Reconstructionist series.

  While it is not necessary to read all three series, in order to avoid spoilers the ideal reading order is as follows:

  Cupcakes, Trinkets, and Other Deadly Magic (Dowser 1)

  Trinkets, Treasures, and Other Bloody Magic (Dowser 2)

  Treasures, Demons, and Other Black Magic (Dowser 3)

  I See Me (Oracle 1)

  Shadows, Maps, and Other Ancient Magic (Dowser 4)

  Maps, Artifacts, and Other Arcane Magic (Dowser 5)

  I See You (Oracle 2)

  Artifacts, Dragons, and Other Lethal Magic (Dowser 6)

  I See Us (Oracle 3)

  Catching Echoes (Reconstructionist 1)

  Tangled Echoes (Reconstructionist 2)

  Unleashing Echoes (Reconstructionist 3)

  Champagne, Misfits, and Other Shady Magic (Dowser 7)

  Other books in the Dowser series to follow.

  * * *

  More information can be found at www.madebymeghan.ca/novels

  Introduction

  I had everything I’d ever wanted — a successful business with a second bakery in the works, a sexy fiance who I adored, and good friends who loved to laugh almost as much as I did.

  So of course it couldn’t possibly last.

  Unfortunately, this time the trouble was homegrown in Vancouver, threatening my own backyard and those who were under my protection — whether they wanted to be or not.

  I was, after all, the wielder of the instruments of assassination.

  Apparently, cutesy cupcakes and being nice only stretched so far.

  1

  The green-haired werewolf handed me a broken stick of bright-pink chalk, fishing a crumpled wad of paper out of her backpack and halfheartedly smoothing it out on her blue-Lycra-clad thigh. The fake leather backpack was dyed bright purple and adorned with puffy leather spikes, mimicking some sort of dinosaur. It clashed spectacularly with the lithe werewolf’s deep-green-dyed hair and orange T-shirt.

  I had needled Kandy about the backpack when she’d shown up wearing it, just before she dragged me from the comfort of my apartment fifteen minutes before midnight, forcing me to jog to one of the many parks along Kitsilano Beach. But needing to deflect the tension I was feeling over the spell I had been asked to cast, I couldn’t resist teasing her again.

  “So … did you lose a bet? Or what?”

  Once again, Kandy refused to engage on the backpack topic. Instead, she offered me a deeply disapproving glower and the still-wrinkled piece of paper. Of course, I might have been reading the judgement into the look.

  I glanced at the carefully printed design, noting the handwriting of both my grandmother, Pearl, and my mother, Scarlett. Apparently, I was now expected to chalk the ornate circle they had scribed on paper onto the seawall. At exactly midnight. With only a smoke-shrouded sliver of a moon overhead for light.

  “Runes?” I moaned dejectedly. “I thought it was just supposed to be a simple circle. And, like, just standing here.”

  Kandy shrugged her backpack-laden shoulder. “The witches decided you might need some help. You know, focusing.”

  I eyed her snottily. “I’m one of the most powerful Adepts in North America. A renowned dowser and skilled alchemist. I can tear down wards with my bare hands!”

  “And you bake the tastiest cupcakes,” Kandy said mildly. Then she glanced at her phone. “You’ve got ten minutes.”

  Still grumbling under my breath about my magical prowess, I surveyed the well-worn concrete path under my feet. Then I glanced to either side of the seawall running along the edge of Kits Beach Park. The Maritime Museum was just a short distance away, but this part of the seaside park was pretty much just a wide stretch of trimmed, mostly brown grass. So other than a large-leafed chestnut tree to our left, we were standing out in the open.

  The eclectic mix of homes across the swath of grass behind Kandy were mostly dark, though I could see that someone was watching TV in the uppermost window of a Spanish-villa-inspired converted triplex on the eastern corner.

  Those houses along Ogden Avenue rarely came on the market, as teardowns or otherwise. Hence the mixture of architecture. Practically every decade since Vancouver had been established was represented in this one residential block, from the fairly modern sandstone-clad mansion on the western corner, to the untouched Cape Cod. Across from where I was supposed to be chalking a rune-marked witches’ circle, a recently painted Craftsman stood, which I vaguely remembered was one of Godfrey Properties’ long-term rentals.

  So yeah, I was dithering. Over architecture.

  “Nine minutes,” Kandy said.

  I jutted my chin out. “This isn’t the right spot.”

  The werewolf bared her teeth. “It’s exactly the right spot, dowser.”

  Belligerently, I took two wide steps to my left. I might have been only half-witch, but I could still feel the slumbering current of magic that I was about to try to tap into underneath my feet.

  Kandy narrowed her eyes at my position adjustment, but she didn’t comment.

  “We could have at least set up distraction spells.” I gestured around the empty park. “People jog at night around here. Chalking runes on the seawall is going to look weird, even in Vancouver.”

  “You know that any other spells might interfere with the casting of the grid.” Kandy’s tone was unusually cajoling. She was babying me in response to the baby I was being.

  I exhaled harshly. No matter my previous bravado and declaration of might, in truth, I was worried that I was going to ruin the intricate spell that my grandmother and Kandy had spent six months planning and constructing. Twelve witches — most of whom had flown into the city for the occasion — were currently set up all around the borders of Vancouver, waiting for the stroke of midnight. Because together, we were going to attempt to raise a magically triggered boundary around the city.

  In its primary phase, the grid would help the witches track magic users within a wide area — from the north edge of the Lions Gate Bridge to the property that Rochelle, the oracle, owned in Southlands; from the western edge of the University of BC to three eastern points along Boundary Road, the border between Vancouver and Burnaby. And if that initial grid held and functioned properly, the witches had plans to expand the coverage to include all of Greater Vancouver — aka all of the territory held and regulated by the Godfrey coven.

  “Eight minutes.”

  “Screw you, werewolf.”

  “Any time, any place, dowser.”

  I laughed. Kandy flashed her teeth at me.

  “Fine. I’ll give it a go.” I glanced down at the runes carefully printed on the paper Kandy had given me, wishing I had more light and that the paper wasn’t so crumpled. “
Why is it all wrinkled? It looks like someone balled it up and threw it away.”

  Kandy shrugged.

  All right, then.

  I hunched down to chalk the first rune, copying it as precisely as I could from the paper onto the concrete. It looked a little like a —

  Kandy cleared her throat expectantly.

  I cursed under my breath. “What? Do you have a freaking checklist?”

  “Hand them over, Jade.”

  “You know it doesn’t matter if I’m wearing them, right? They are me.”

  “Illuminating.”

  “You know what I mean. What if I told you that you were going to have to take off the cuffs?”

  “I refer you to the T-shirt,” Kandy said, her tone deceptively mild. She was pointing at her chest, where the words I do bite were emblazoned in thick black lettering on orange cotton. The aforementioned cuffs — gold, rune carved, and three inches across — adorned her wrists, creating a perpetual aesthetic conflict with her sporty outfits.

  The cuffs were magical artifacts that not only imbued my werewolf BFF with a massive amount of strength, even above and beyond what her shapeshifter magic provided, but also afforded her some magical resistance to malicious spells. It was a resistance I’d been layering into them with my own alchemy. But carefully, so I didn’t disrupt the magic already embedded in the gold, diamonds, and runes.

  See? I was learning subtlety. At least when it came to wielding some of my power.

  I pointed at my own chest. The werewolf had insisted I wear a specific bright-green T-shirt for the occasion of raising the magical grid. Etched across my ample assets was the phrase: Never mind the cupcakes. I can totally kick your ass.

  “That doesn’t apply to me,” she said, beckoning in my direction.

  Fine. I could decide that being a big girl, trying to cast the spell properly, and failing was better than being subjected to snide sneers from the twelve other witches for not even trying. I called my jade knife into my right hand, flipping the magic-imbued blade twice. Energy flashed around my hand and forearm, streaking through the night air. I couldn’t see or taste the magic I’d accumulated in the weapon, cementing it with my own alchemy, but I could certainly feel it. Revel in it.

  “Yeah, yeah,” Kandy said. “Very pretty.”

  I carefully placed the hilt across her open palm, whispering, “Stay.”

  Kandy didn’t bother reacting to my addressing an inanimate object. My attachment to my creations … well, two of my personal artifacts at least … wasn’t news to her.

  “Six minutes.”

  I let out a long, suffering sigh, then reached up and untwined the wedding-ring-laden gold chain I’d wound twice around my neck. My necklace also held the three instruments of assassination — aka the only three ways to kill a guardian dragon. The silver centipedes were clipped to wedding rings. The braids were encased in gold and twined throughout the thick links of the necklace. The leaves and flower petals representing the phoenix had transformed into an embossing over the entire chain when I claimed the instruments for myself.

  I never took the necklace off.

  Not even to shower.

  Not even to have sex.

  The artifact felt benign right up until the moment I shifted it away from my body, holding it out to Kandy. Then the magic held within it contracted, bristling with power.

  Kandy sucked in her breath. Her hand, still extended toward me, shook slightly. Almost imperceptibly. But I could see and sense such things now. Perhaps I had always been able to, but absorbing the magic of Shailaja, the daughter of the former treasure keeper, had sharpened my abilities. So much so that after a year and a half of training, paired with meditative yoga, I was as much a weapon as the instruments themselves. Bound by the magic that ran in my veins, in my every cell, we belonged to each other. For better or worse.

  “It’s just for a moment,” I murmured, more to myself than to the necklace.

  Kandy gnashed her teeth at her own reaction to the power of the instruments. Then she took a deep, fortifying breath and her hand steadied.

  I slung the necklace across her open palm, forcing myself to let it go. Then I immediately crouched, chalking the runes in a tight circle around my feet rather than giving in to the intense emptiness that accompanied being parted from the necklace. It felt as though I’d handed a piece of my soul to the wolf for her to hold. But that was fine, actually.

  Because I would trust Kandy with my life, my very essence. Any day.

  Kandy didn’t sling the necklace around her neck, which was probably wise. She also made sure to avoid any direct contact between it and the magical cuffs.

  “Three minutes,” she murmured, but more out of duty now than any need to egg me on.

  I could already feel magic blooming underneath the chalked runes as I etched them into the cement. Witches didn’t often work with runes, and I certainly never did. They were more of a sorcerer thing. But Gran occasionally used them to anchor specific spells. And that was what I was currently doing — physically anchoring my own magic to this time and place. This moment.

  I connected the last two runes, trying to replicate the complicated swoop that had been rendered on the paper I held in my left hand. Then as I straightened, magic rushed up all around me, taking my breath with it as it beamed upward into the dark sky.

  I blinked at the few stars I could see through the smoky haze that had plagued Vancouver for most of the summer, the aftereffect of rampant wildfires burning throughout British Columbia. I wondered how high the thirteen points of the grid were now beaming above the city. If I were at a lookout point on Cypress Mountain, would I be able to see those beams of magic streaming up into the sky?

  Kandy grunted with satisfaction, backing up a few steps until she stood on the dry grass. Then she peered down at her phone intently, most likely watching the countdown she’d coordinated. Each witch was paired with a companion who stood outside the magic at each individual anchor point. My own phone was in my satchel a few feet away from me, but even with the protection of the lead-lined case I usually kept it in, I wasn’t foolish enough to risk using it around this much magic. I was actually lucky that my own magic didn’t fry electronics, though I kept the bulk of my power tucked tidily away behind my necklace and my knife.

  The magical grid was rooted at Gran’s house in Point Grey, from where its power radiated. She, Scarlett, and some of the other Godfrey coven witches had been testing it for months, painstakingly tweaking the spell. Their idea had been to fortify the grid, so that even if any one of the twelve anchor points were compromised, the overall power would still hold. Assuming that we managed to get it up and activated in the first place.

  “Ten … nine … eight …” Kandy whispered.

  Ah, crap. I scrambled to take off my socks and shoes, completely forgetting that portion of Gran’s instructions. The runes had been distracting.

  “… seven … six …”

  I had one foot bare. The concrete was colder than I expected.

  “… five … four … three …”

  “You’re speeding up,” I growled, hopping on one foot.

  “Am not.”

  Magic crashed into the circle, hitting the rune-marked boundary from two directions. The flavors and scents of lilac … strawberry … citrus … rosemary … and nutmeg flooded through my senses, overwhelming the individual tastes until it resolved into a single potent grassy note.

  Witch magic.

  The pink-chalked runes flared with blue light, setting me aglow from my painted toes — a bright coral shade from OPI called Me, MySelfie & I — to my jeans to my T-shirt. My hair lifted up, spreading out like a golden halo of curls all around my head and shoulders.

  I spread my arms within the field of energy swirling all around me, desperately trying to relax. I needed to let its power flow through and around me, rather than greedily absorbing every last potent drop. Completely contrary to my natural instincts, this energy wasn’t for me to collect and hol
d.

  “Not mine … not mine …” I whispered.

  “It’s not working, Jade.” Kandy called out to me from somewhere beyond the maelstrom of magic. “It’s supposed to flow out, not just in. Yes?”

  Yes. Damn it.

  And, of course, I didn’t have my knife. It was going to be difficult to perform potentially illegal blood alchemy without being able to cut myself.

  Reacting instinctively — which had never gotten me into any trouble before, right? — I clenched my right hand, crouching and slamming my fist down onto the concrete between my feet in the same motion. The seawall pathway cracked under the blow, though not enough to interfere with the runes. I’d barely scratched my knuckles, but it was enough of a scrape that blood welled. Quickly, before my skin could heal, I pressed a practically microscopic drop of blood into the center of the circle.

  “Well, Pearl is going to love that,” Kandy muttered.

  Yeah, witches weren’t really cool with anything that even hinted at blood magic. But since the runes appeared to be pretty useless, at least when it came to my attempt to use them, the magic carried in my blood would anchor me instead.

  I straightened up, closing my eyes and imagining myself floating within the energy. Visualizing it flowing through me, then out into the invisible grid. I fueled the magic of the grid, combining my power with that of the twelve other witches. I visualized all that power streaking out over streets, the bakery, houses, skyscrapers, parks, and all the people of Vancouver.

  I lost my footing within the buoyant magic, slipping up into it. Then I was floating about a foot off the ground, suspended within the power pouring through me.